The "little" help in the household – when children want to help

Curious little eyes watch Mom's or Dad's hands when they are organizing something in the household – whether cleaning, screwing, vacuuming, hammering, wiping, or drilling: nothing escapes those little eyes. Everything is carefully registered, stored, and sometimes reenacted with their own toys. When Dad pulls out the hammer next time to hang a picture, your child might run to their toy workbench and get their little plastic hammer. Because one thing is clear: for the little ones, helping around the house is like a little adventure. They want to prove and show that they can already help. However, if they are supposed to tidy up their room, the reality looks quite different. So, what can you do to make helping around the house fun for your offspring?

How do I recognize if my child wants to help me?

Observe your child. They are curious, follow you around, and want to help. When you arm yourself with cleaning cloths and glass cleaner, they will surely cry out in protest for a cloth to show: "Look, Mom – I can clean really well too!". Or when you take the laundry out of the washing machine, your child can gladly help here too. These activities are not everyday things for your children, but a real challenge. And so that the fun of these adventures doesn't fade too quickly, it is all the more important that you praise your little treasure. With sentences like: "You did that really well," the little human feels confirmed and wants to help more. However, if sentences are dropped like: "Don't drop the laundry, now I have to wash it again" or "Put the cups in the dishwasher the right way around. You're doing it wrong again!", they will echo in your child's ears for a long time. Praise encourages; criticism or anger will spoil their fun.

Joint activities are encouraging

Of course, your child also associates togetherness with household activities. If you combine these shared moments, the fun will really ignite. For example, reward your child with promises, such as going to the playground after dusting together, or doing some crafts or painting together on rainy days. The child notices that they are being taken seriously and enjoys the activities. Important: You must keep your promises, otherwise your child will no longer take you seriously, and that could have bad consequences for your relationship.

How do I deal with my defiant child?

Also, draw consequences from actions: a three-year-old child, for example, is in the middle of the defiant phase. A difficult age, but during this time your child tries to test and experiment with how far they can go. If they don't want to carry their favorite cheese to the table, for example, you shouldn't give in. If you know exactly that they want to eat the cheese but want to see you carry it after them, it can have bad consequences for the child's development. They will make further demands and claims in the future. How can you resolve this situation so it doesn't escalate into a dispute? Quite simply: if your child doesn't want to carry the cheese to the table, even though they want to eat it, they are simply out of luck. Then the cheese just won't be on the table. Such consequences show the child that help is indeed necessary.

Rituals are important for development

However, let your child have a say, involve your child in daily activities as often as possible, and show them how important their help is. Above all, it will be a help to you in the household if you impose clear rules on the child: if shoes are always on the mat next to the door, worn laundry always belongs in the laundry basket or directly into the machine, the toothbrush belongs in the toothbrush holder, the bread in the bread box, and the dirty cup finds its place in the dishwasher, they will learn the rituals as a routine and thus unconsciously help you in the household. Leading by example is the secret and shows your children the right way to live.

Finally, a book recommendation for all parents of small children:Kinderjahre: Die Individualität des Kindes als erzieherische Herausforderung

An excellent work by Remo H. Largo, Professor of Pediatrics in Zurich – we can highly recommend this to all parents.

We would be happy to receive comments on the topic "Our little helpers, when toddlers want to help" – what are your nice experiences and where does it not work quite so well?

Read also: Are parents allowed to show feelings in front of their children?

Photo by Sabine, meinhaushalt.at